Here we go again and again….

So another year and another blog! Depressing? The last year has flashed by so quickly and so many things seem to be the same and yet so many things are much better. It’s normal for me to focus on the negatives but this time I am not going to do that, I’m going to think about all the things that I have achieved in the last twelve months and the reason why I started this blog. I want to finish making myself better. Actually that’s not really true because I’ve realised (in the last year) that I am never going to be “cured” “better” “sorted” so I suppose what I want is to move towards feeling better about myself and getting rid of some of the huge amounts of rubbish I have been carrying around for years and years and years. Perhaps I mean that if I dealt with my long-term issues then maybe I would have room to bring in some more issues but that’s the old me talking, what I want to do is be happier. Not a long to ask is it? I’m not asking for a lottery win, endless money, no problems, but to have a more manageable life, to feel more relaxed about things, to step out of the bad habits I have allowed myself to drift into over the last few years. Change, move on, stop restricting myself because it’s easy to stay where I am and moan, doing something, taking a risk requires energy, but I feel more energetic so I am going to start. Hopefully unlike other years I shall actually continue.

I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s Eve: it seems like enforced jollity to me, you’re being told you should enjoy yourself. It’s just a moment in time, swiftly followed by lectures on giving up drinking, adverts for diets and gym memberships. It’s all pointing at changing yourself and it’s just a constant repetition. But (I seem to be using that word a lot) New Year does tend to focus your mind (or maybe my mind) on new beginnings, a bit of a kick up the…., And we all know that isn’t always a bad thing. So my New Year is about getting rid of useless baggage, learning to like myself more, doing a few more things that I’ve lost the habit of doing, trying something new….maybe it’s just giving myself a shake, looking at what I’ve done, what I want to do and getting on with it. Easy? I doubt it!

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